The Nightmare

Its always the same, the only differences is sometimes I'm in my body and at others I am an observer of the whole thing. can you call a memory a nightmare? Every time I sleep I relive the whole accident. I see my arm being pulled deeper and deeper into the mechanics of the forklift, I hear myself scream as the metal squeezes my arm crushing it. The moment that the steel pierces my flesh there is an audible pop as the too weak flesh is opened and the muscles explode and part making way for the unforgiving iron as it travels to the bone, the crack as the intruding steel from both sides meets and shears off the bone that is trying to stop its progress. They say you feel no pain in your dreams, that is false, I feel every nuance of the excruciating moments of the accident, the pain of the intrusion of metal into my flesh, and the burning pain of the pressure of a 50,0000 LB lift crushing my left arm, and finally the sharp almost unbelievable pain as bone is sheared away.

I haven't shared this with anyone until now. I'm not sure why, its been nearly two years since I was hurt and almost every time I sleep I relive this. I believe I'm ready to start the healing, and to share is to start healing.