The Match

There is no picture for this entry because this entry is about my conscience. I know I have been away the last 2 weeks, that's because I have been at war with myself and things have finally resolved themselves. I found out that the person who crushed my arm has lost his first and truest love MONEY. Rick my former boss is declaring bankruptcy, part of me wanted to shout for joy at his misfortune, after all he ruined my life and has cost me and my family so much in the past 2 years. another part of me wanted to pity him, Rick has always based his life on the money he had and the money he could make, his lifestyle has reflected this and his actions were directed by this. Part of Bushido is being honorable, never taking joy in others pain, even your enemy, I was failing at this, I know I'm only human and prone to the faults that all people have and the biggest fault I was struggling with was revenge. I knew my feelings were wrong and that I was being dishonorable by being happy that Rick was in such pain, but I didn't care it felt so nice to know that he was getting a taste of what I had gone through in the last 2 years. Then I started thinking of not only Rick but of the others that would be affected by his bankruptcy, his family his workers and I realized that I was being unreasonable(these people never hurt me) and that if I kept on this path my honor would be ruined. I pity Rick now, how it must hurt to loose it all, he has based his life around money and now that he has none I wonder if his friends will stay next to him or will they leave? I want my son to grow to be a pillar of our community and to be honorable, but how can he if his father refuses to act honorably? I have resolved this issue within myself and will now be back to blog. I only hope my change of heart sticks and that I can sleep at night knowing that for a time I was acting without honor.