The end of another

Well another years has passed and its time to make resolutions, promises and wishes. My biggest wish is to be there for all the important things for my family, my promises .....errrr well I would promise to quit smoking I think that's the best one, and resolutions ( I may or may not keep ) is to loose another 25 pounds and get the body I had when I was an Initial Attack fire fighter and crew boss. My final wish is for all who read this to have a contented year, full of peace, joy and prosperity.

Merry Christmas to all

Well another Christmas has come and gone, this year was exceptionally good for me. I received the greatest gift, I sat and watched my son as he opened his gifts with joy and enthusiasm. It's wonderful to watch small children open presents, their innocence and wonder, it could be the simplest gift ( no wii or x-box ) and yet they get so excited, Rowan was a marvel hugging and kissing and happy as a bird in spring. I would like to share with you a quote from a small very popular paper we have in our town called the coffee-break " Love is whats in the room with you Christmas morning when you stop opening presents and listen." Steven age 7. for me today that was so true. From my family to you and yours may your Christmas be full of peace, joy and love God Bless.

Fun, games, and memories

With only a few days left until Christmas I find my mind seeking the best days of my life, as a child I had few friends because of our location ( far removed from my classmates with no kids my own age to play with ) I did however always have a dog. Winter was a magical time for me and my dogs, we would go exploring in the woods or sledding down the hill behind the house, in spring and summer we would plat in the little valley that was covered in moss and surrounded with old trees and large willows, these magical moments are the kind of times I wish to share with my son. Its far too cold to take Rowan out sledding these winter mornings, but I am planning a weekend soon when the weather warms up for the two of us and our dog to get out and explore the hills with a sled. If I can give my son memories he can keep through his life that always bring a dreamy smile, well then that's the best gift he will receive this Christmas.

The Deep Freeze

It's DANG cold here right now and I'm not having fun in it. My poor dog has such a hard time outside at -40 with the windchill. I take the dog out every few hours for a walk but in this weather his paws freeze before we get too far, people laugh to see me crouched in the snow holding dewys paws in my hands breathing harm breath on then. Dewzer is a Shepard black lab cross about 2 years old and as rambunctious as Rowan. The weather may be cold and I may dread going to work but it is so pretty here wrapped in snow like " A Winter Wonderland " with the fog and hoarfrost on the trees, lights twinkling from all houses reflected in the snow and ice, you can't help but think you are in some sort of a Norman Rockwell picture, with kids with rosy cheeks laughing as they play outside ( just wait till their older and the cold effects them like it does the rest of us ). I hope that I will always remember what it was like to play out in the snow with my friends or one of my dogs, those sweet innocent days of joy and wonder.

The unknown

Well I'm back, my computer crashed and I had to send for some recovery disks, but here I am.

The last few weeks at work have been trying me in so many ways, there is a manager who I constantly butt heads with ( to be fair I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to this person, the problem is not all her, I need to grow up and listen to my own advise) and there are broken promises that the company made about my work schedule and raise. I guess what all this is leading to is that right now I am considering finding a new job, and with the economy the world is in, well its all unknown for me. If I stay will I be able to work things out with both the company and this individual? should I quit? I'm not really sure what I should do, the road ahead is fogged in and I'm not sure where the next pitfall will be. The only thing I know for sure in this whole mess is that Rowan needs me, he needs the money I make to support our family, and I need to show an example of what it means to be responsible.

We never know whats around the next bend in the road, but we all have to trust that God has a plan and a purpose for everything we encounter. I just pray that he gives me the strength and wisdom to see whats right and to do the right thing.

Seclusion

Every once and awhile I like to be by myself, just to sit and think. When these times come I like to find a nice quiet corner of nowhere and loose myself in natures wonder. Its winter in my little piece of the world right now and there is something quite peaceful about sitting outside in a heavy snowfall, all the sounds around me are hushed and the air seems sleepy and docile. I stare at the flakes as the slowly drift to earth and begin to let my mind drift off with them, I think of what my life has become and what the future might hold, I never seem to dwell on the bad things in life and my future is never harsh at these times, I know there will be hard moments yet these moments are far away almost as if they exist in another reality or maybe I'm in another reality?

When its summer I try to find a stream or a secluded little valley to visit, I'll sit and watch the water bubble past on its merry way to a larger body of water, or I sit and watch animals and insects go about their lives. I realize that God provides for all the animals in nature and if he cares so much about these tiny creatures then how much must he care about me, the creature made in his own image? These moments I cherish I feel as if only I exist and there are no worries to plague me. Unfortunately I at last must rejoin the world as it is, yet I always manage to take a piece of the seclusion with me throughout the day, my own little getaway when I am stressed at work, on the road or at home.

For the fallen

"December 7th 1941, a date which will live in infamy"

This is the 67th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, and this year more than most I find myself in a melancholy mood. Just days ago I lost an uncle who served in the U.S. Navy during WW 2 and I can't help but think of all the young service men and women around the world in whatever nation serving and dying for their countries and their beliefs. War must be horrible and yet politicians the world over fail to keep the peace forcing young and old to pay the price, I support the military action in both Iraq and Afghanistan the coalition forces are doing their best to win the freedom of oppressed people, however saying that I can only ponder the views of the other side, right and wrong, good and evil these are subjective truths depending on which side you are on. I'm sure that the Taliban and Aquaida see their cause as just and right just as I know the coalition does. I know wishing will do nothing, but I can only wish that mankind would learn to set differences aside and love one another.

So today I take a moment to say a prayer for those who are serving and for those who have fallen. May you all find your peace, amen.

My yardstick

Last year one day I observed a young couple fighting on the sidewalk and the things that they were saying to one another are not something I want to post, but this got me to thinking of my past and the things that I had done both in public and in private, I'm not proud of most of these things, well to be honest none of these things make me proud. I dreaad thinking that my son ould one day act like I did when I was young, and I started to look at things in a new light, I wouldn't want my son to act like I did or swear at the top of his lungs in public so now I ask myself when I'm tempted to do something I know is posibly wrong " would I want Rowan (my son) to act like this?" this has now become my yardstick for messuring my actions. If others would only find a way to ask themselves these questions I think we would all be better off. If you wouldn't want your kids or some other impressionable person close to you to act as you are doing then maybe you should do your best to stop acting that way

That time of year

I am always dumbfounded at this time of year, I see people run around caught up in shopping, mailing and general frustration!! HEY PEOPLE ITS CHRISTMAS!!! its not a consumer crisis!

I do my best to be happy with what I have ( and I'm truly blessed with everything I have ) and most of what I have isn't monetary items, I have my Family who love me, I have a job, I have good health, and I have my honor and morals. Yet everyday at this time of the year I see people who are grumpy, sad, and stressed because they can't afford to by the newest toys and the big screen LCD TV. Lets look at what the word Christmas, Christ is the the root of the word Christmas and this is the most important part of the word ( I realize that December 25

is only the date that the early church decided to use to celebrate the birth of Jesus in order to convert pagans to Christianity ) and I see the next most important part of Christmas being the togetherness of humanity, the joys of family and friends, yes I understand that it nice to give gifts to the ones we love but isn't it a better gift to give the gift of love?

I do my best to instill to my family that the love we show one another at all times of the year is more important than a few baubles given on one morning in all 365 mornings. Yes I purchase and make presents for my family and friends during the holidays, but even on years when I have little money I still give gifts to all. A smile to a stranger, a kind word or deed goes so much further than any flashy wrapped gift.

Call me old fashioned, call me an idealist and even call me a romantic but I would rather spend an hour watching kids play in the snow and spend hours drinking hot chocolate with friends and family than spend my time stressed because I can't see the truly important things.

As a Father

As a father I try and instill to my son the values and beliefs I hold, the problem with this is finding a way to relate them to your child. My son is only two years old but I have watched him grow both physically and mentally, and I realized that his moral growth was well underway. I can't say that I was a perfect person when I was younger, far from it actually, in fact I am a drug addict ( clean 17 years this year ) I have been a drug dealer, scam artist and many other disreputable occupations. I turned my life around many years ago, before I met my wife I had a change of heart. I don't really know what prompted this in me however I am glad that the change occurred.

I have always had a love of things Japanese in particular and the Orient in general and always found the Eastern philosophies engrossing. The most fascinating of these for me is the Samurai code BUSHIDO. It was after watching the movie The Last Samurai that I started to think about how my own moral compass and belief system follows many of the subjects explored in this film ( yes I know that the film is not historically accurate, and I realize that the Samurai were in fact " the bad guys" as history judges these things ) and how I try to mirror the honor and respect shown others in the code of Bushido. I started to explore Bushido in other movies and texts and was quite surprised by my findings, I was quite pleased to realize that I followed many of these teachings and principals and also realized that I had a problem HOW WAS I GOING TO EXPLAIN THESE TO MY SON? !!!!!!!

I welcome people to discuss their ponts of views both for and against and would welcome any ideas and feedback you may have